Hold on, excuse me. Paris has done some good for the world: Thank you Paris for being a waste of airtime. Thank you for filling our DVD players with a terrible porn that you didn’t even authorize. Thank you having the press take amazing pictures of you doing those same stupid poses. Thank you for making terrible pop tunes that make me want to vomit. Thank you for writing a book about how other girls can be just as stupid as you but make just as much money. Thank you for making girls want to buy expensive things because that’s what means a lot to human beings. Thank you for making girls stick their hands down their throats so they can be as thin as you. Thank you for taking nude pics of yourself (for what reason?) and being exploited once again.

I will admit that Paris is kind of hot, but any new babe that comes around the corner is sure to rid her of all her fame since looks are really the only thing that Paris has. If you don’t agree with me, at least Guiness does. She has a record for being the most overrated celebrity.

The number one reason thou why we hate Oprah is because she abuses to the max, her power and influence, to brainwash her viewers into buying expensive materialistic items that she promotes on her show for her own profit, and then preaching the next day on a new show topic about poverty, and how mentally unhealthy it is to get into debt because women are buying these expensive hyped clothes or some other useless product.

Oprah also uses her show for personal attacks. Just look at James Frey. She knew before his book did not add up. She was warned by her staff. When James Frey was exposed by someone else, she even defended him on CNN live. Then when her fan base, her audience, her pipeline of cash, was not in favor of defending Frey, she quickly did a 180, got Frey on the show, brought a group of people to tag team him, and attacked him to get revenge for making her look so stupid in front of so many people, but more importantly, making him rich, and her poorer at her own expense.

As well Oprah has been proven to be a liar. She use to declare on her shows she never did drugs (crack). Then one day when a newspaper was about to expose her drug use, she admitted it and came clean, but only because she was about to be exposed.

So to top it all off, here is the Top 10 reasons why we hate Oprah:

1. Power Abuse and Influence – Spiderman’s guardian said it best, “with great power, comes great responsibility”. Oprah abuses her power and influence over her audience to sell materialistic items, unhealthy foods, hollow weight loss diets, etc.. all for her own personal gain. These items in no way help people. What’s even worse is during the same week, Oprah usually has a show which completely contradicts her advice and promotion. She claims America is falling further in debt because of the expensive things we should not buy, ie. designer clothing, etc… that America is getting fatter (if you go to Oprah’s web site, you will see ads for Oreo cookies, and other fattening foods), bottom line, Oprah is a hypocrite, who wears expensive clothing, promotes it, then tells you not to wear it, all the while keeping her ratings and profits up. Stupid house wife stormtroopers rush out and buy whatever Oprah says. Poor husbands all over the globe have no choice but to succum to the dark side and give in to their the brainwashed wife.

2. Personal Attacks and Shallow Tactics – When Oprah is put in her own place, she uses her show and influence to attack way below the belt. Take the fashion clothing company Hermes. Oprah wanted in after hours to shop. The store was closed. So she called the store and company racist. She devoted a whole show on the subject and attacked the company. Of course because of her influence, sales suffered, so the CEO of the company had to come on and publicly apologize for something they never did wrong. THE STORE WAS CLOSED. Oprah is not better or special then anyone else. Using the race card to reduce a companies profits because of bitterness is PATHETIC and IMMORAL.

3. Arrogance – Just because Oprah’s show is popular, she thinks she is always right. Oprah does not have any degree(s) of education in psychology. She imposes her poor advice always on people, and what’s unfortunate is most people that watch her show believe it because, well it’s Oprah, and she is rich and famous, so she must be right. How pathetic.

4. Deception for Personal Gain – Do you remember that show were Oprah “gave” away all those cars?! People thought she was the best! So generous! After all, 276 cars is a lot of cash to give away! 8 million to be exact. Guess what. Oprah never paid for them, she just wanted it to appear that way. General Motors wanted to launch the new Pontiac G6 in a big way, so they stuck a deal with Oprah, yet another clever product placement deal, GM gets themselves a massive market, and in turn, Oprah’s image is better than even. Clever deception indeed. Watch her show closely, and you will see all the product placements and clever lines and tactics she used on her viewers to buy her promoters products.

5. Cultural Bullying – Oprah pushes her promoters culture and her guest’s products onto everyone else. She always displays someone’s new clothing line, or book, or some product, that rarely provides any relevant use or help to someone’s life. Oprah preaches how everyone wants in and that you need it this product, thus of course many brainwashed viewers rush out and buy whatever Oprah recommends, helping you once again thrust deeper into debt. But don’t worry, Oprah will soon have another show on American poverty, and debt diet plans!

6. Celebrity Worship – Actors and Singers are at the top of the American social ladder, despite the fact that they don’t actually do anything. Oprah’s show used to actually have relevant topics, now its just celebs appear to boost Oprah’s ratings, and interject commercial products.

7. Child Exploits – Usually once a week a child is brought on the show and tells their tales of physical or mental abuse, sexual abuse, etc… What never happens is no real professional help is given to this child. They come on the show, Oprah imposes her poor advice, her ratings are up at the expense of the child, because of such a shocking story, and in the end, Oprah wins in the ratings, and the child never receives any real help. Oprah has even brought on children that have received death threats, i.e. Web cam teen porn kid, where the child’s life was threatened if he went on the show, but that didn’t seem to stop Oprah from having him come on.

8. Oprah Morphing Ability – Oprah is so fake. When an African American women or man is on the show, Oprah talks like “Yo, what’s up girl”, or “Aight ya’ll” but when theirs a white guest, she morphs into Jackie Kennedy and is composed and talks so conservative. Just be yourself, and stop changing into different people to fit your demographic audience.

9. Oprah is a Proven Liar – Oprah said on her show she never did drugs. Then a media company finds out and is about to expose her. So Oprah does a 180 and confesses her drug (crack) use. Then blames it on her boyfriend. Talk about shallow.

10. Hypocrisy – Oprah is a total hypocrite. One show is about poverty, and how everyone is going into debt, or we’re all getting fatter, then the next show its the latest fashion, what to wear to make you look skinny and popular, and of course the $50 dollar brownies to buy, and all your favorite goodies that can be flown, yes by airplane, to your doorstep. Unbelievable!

Yeah, we hate Oprah!

Credits: ihateoprah.com

Keith Kelly actually thinks that being an Irishman is a good thing for him in New York! In his dad’s generation the Irish were still outsiders! Keith Kelly feels that the Irish are accomplished, well-educated and successful in many fields! Vying for the best tables at Michael’s and the VIP rooms of Bungalow 8, Kelly says he doesn’t try to live in that world…well, how then does he accurately report on it? He doesn’t. Kelly is more interested in throwing curve balls to major investors and editorially involving himself in scandals such as the Jayson Blair incident. Those who subscribe to The Post believe there is nothing glorious at all with being associated with this sore loser who is addicted to media attention.

“I know what I won’t be spending my money on” said one critic. As fellow pen pushers, Christopher Byron or John Crudele could easily claim workman’s compensation for simply being made to work with Kelly there are many who simply have chosen not to buy the publication! They hate Keith Kelly too, huh? The New York Times, now known as The Paper of Wreckage after the Jayson Blair fabrications, looks for “sin-sider” stories to keep Kelly covering the pop-culture way of life.

Flaunting a fascination with the media and the money, Keith Kelly feels left out if he misses something! Why not go home to your family, Kelly! In Manhattan’s Stuyvesant Town with his wife, Pat Walsh (a nurse at Sloan Kettterin) and three boys Ruairi (what kind of name is that?), Luke and Eamon (was he drunk?) at least there are people who will listen.

I hate Keith Kelly and his stupid scoops… how are your kids turning out? Maybe Keith Kelly should write an editorial on that one! I wonder what the world would say when they read comments about his off-duty job as a dad! “Raising the devil” could be the title of a column devoted to bringing up journalists who cover junk, garbage, scandalous, and bizarre inside-the-industry reports! For having to read an editorial done by someone who truly enjoys covering the annual Four Season’s seating chart at the employee holiday party, one might assume there was no appetite left for the entrees! If visiting the big apple is in your future, and if you choose to frequent Michaels, might I suggest you avoid the corner booth!

I hate Keith Kelly!

James Bond is what an average man is dreaming of being. Strong, honest, an outstanding womanizer. He has lots of money, he is smart, he knows how to come on the top in any situation. To some extend, James Bond is a superman as much, as an ordinary man can be. Do you still wonder why he is so popular? Men are strong, but they are very tender and easily offended when it’s all about their features of the strong sex. They all want to drive posh cars, sleep with posh girls, wear unbelievably expensive watches and have money enough to live the way they want.

And that is why I hate James Bond. He makes men forget that they should care about what they already have – their family, their wives (maybe not so sexy as James Bond’s whores), their children. They start integrating this supermannish image into their life, ruining everything they’ve achieved before.

Psychoanalyst Frank (2004) based on the “growing anecdotal evidence” of Bushisms diagnosed that the President may suffer from dyslexia, ADHD, and other thought disorders, observing that:

“Naturally, the occasional misstatement or discrepancy between word and deed may be dismissed as politics as usual. But when the most powerful man on the planet consistently exhibits an array of multiple, serious, and untreated symptoms — any one of which I’ve seen patients need years to work through — it’s certainly cause for further investigation, if not for outright alarm. President Bush is not my patient, of course, but the discipline of applied psychoanalysis gives us a way to make as much sense of his psyche as he is likely ever to allow.”

He was a poor student who somehow got into the finest schools. He was a National Guardsman who somehow missed a year of service. He was a failed businessman who somehow was made rich. He was a minority investor who somehow was made managing partner of the Texas Rangers. He was a defeated politician who somehow was made governor. Finally, *somehow*, this man has won two consecutive presidential elections.
Well that’s no accident, I guess. A lot of people are *actually* stupid enough to vote for him. One of them, Stuart Rosenburg from CNN (oh my God how I hate CNN but that’s a different story) said:

“George Bush is likely to be a better role model for the country than was Bill Clinton.”

Let’s see now… Bush has horrible grammar, mangled syntax, invents words that don’t exist, and doesn’t know the first thing about geography, the environment, or world politics. He won’t tell the truth about his past drug use, about being AWOL from the National Guard, or about his shady business exploits. And we’re supposed to think he’s a better role model because he won’t receive oral sex from an intern….?

Now the absolutely last drop, the G8 summit. Not only did he curse while talking to Blair at lunch:

“The irony is, what they really need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it’s over.”

but also managed to give the German Chancellor a casual massage on the back, which made her uncomfortable as hell…

Just think about it for a sec. Would you do the same kind of stuff if you were elected to the Oval Office? I hope I wouldn’t. *Most* people wouldn’t. Only in a country like the US could the people elect somebody with a negative IQ – and twice!

God, is America screwed.

The theme song states “YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE… YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE.” Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can.

I hate Cameron Diaz.

I don’t know her, yet I know enough miscellaneous bullshit about her to fill a book. For example, why do I know that Cameron Diaz is dating Justin Timberlake? I don’t watch much TV, I rarely listen to the radio, and I avoid celebrity gossip like rape, yet I know the names of the last two guys she humped with that canyonesque twat of hers.

Then as if Cameron Diaz wasn’t annoying enough, she brought her “friends” along. In particular, notable environmental activists such as Eva Mendez, rapper “Redman,” Drew Barrymore, Jessica Alba, and Blink 182 bass player Mark Hoppus, often seen with a shit-eating grin.

Every time she opens her gaping mouth, she spews more self-righteous nonsense all over the place. One of my favorite lines is when she says “it’s kind of gotten out of hand how much of a convenience we think we need.” Diaz, who makes around $20 million per picture and drives a Lexus, was able to say this with a straight face. What the hell is that supposed to mean, “convenience we think we need”? We don’t need it, we want it. I like being able to get hot water, hot food, and hot porn whenever I want. Just as soon as you give up your mansion and live in a shit hut with your multi-millionaire boyfriend, we might give a darn about your criticism of the modern conveniences.

Of course, having a show in which the hosts prattle on and on about conservation and environmental causes, it makes you wonder how they’re able to do it without sounding like giant hypocrites as they fly around on helicopters and jets, all while using enough electricity to power a small city. Simply put: they can’t, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

The way they try to avoid this nagging ideological contradiction is by stating: “Trippin’ has offset all the pollution created from energy use in making the show, to ensure that it would not contribute to global warming.” They supposedly do this by buying “clean air credits.” Great idea assholes, so instead of owning up to your shitty ideals and not polluting, you pay someone else not to pollute. Maybe we should all try to pay someone off every time we want to do something that might inconvenience us. I was going to go on a diet, but it’s too hard, so I’m going to pay someone else to diet for me. I was going to do a show about community service, but doing the actual work was too inconvenient, so I’m going to pay someone to do it for me. Yeah, sounds cool.

Credits: Maddox

“Hydroderm™ allows the collagen to be delivered directly to the third layer of the epidermis-a feat achieved previously only by injection.”

“Botox® is a toxin that works by paralyzing the small muscles involved in facial expressions. As a result, the lines may disappear, but there can be a diminished expressiveness of the face. And, of course, the injections only last a few months, requiring continued hassle and expense to maintain the improvement.”

These are the shortcuts from various magazines the marketers present to make me believe this fantastic Hydroderm will help me with my wrinkles (Gosh, they can’t hear by my voice that I’m a 23-year-old young woman). And they even offer it for free. Of course, if I only buy a product to have a Jennifer-Lopez-like-hair from Sedu.

Sedu beauty products are good. Maybe. That’s what the marketers say. But why should they be so aggressively marketed if they are really good? I don’t know. Maybe, you do? Jennifer Lopez Sedu hair might be good. However, I doubt she uses Sedu only. I will be not suprised to hear something like “Jennifer Lopez Pantene Hair” in the nearest future.

And the marketers will offer the free sample of Hydroderm if I buy that Jennifer Lopez branded product.

That is what I hate. Clumsy activities.