I hate my father. Pure and simple, because I apparently act just like him. According to my mother, who was married to this man for two years, I have all of his traits. I cannot deny this simply because I do not know enough about my father to agree or disagree. I think I have met him a total of 5 times my entire life. He came to my grandfather’s funeral, I spent 3 summers with him when I was young, and I think he came once to surprise me. However, I still manage to “act just like him”.

I do have to admit that I am a smoker like my father. However, when I do something that my family frowns upon it is because its something my father would have done, according to my mother. Here is a small list of traits/fate that my family tells me I share with my father:

1) I smoke.
2) I’m a liar and a cheat.
3) I eat seafood.
4) I have sex even though I’m not married.
5) I cannot be trusted.
6) I take advantage of people.
7) I have no heart.
8) I’m going to hell when I die.
9) I’m going to end up a bum.
10) I will live in a trailer park married to a fat woman.
11) I’m an asshole
12) End up addicted to drugs

Now due to the fact that I hardly know my father except that he was in the army. So I cannot defend myself because I do not know if I am actually acting like my father, or not. How can I immolate someone I hardly know?

However, that is a moot point, because I am by all accounts doing a excellent job of following my father’s footsteps. So here I am acting just like my father, despite the fact I got into one of the best colleges in the U.S, and despite the fact I have NEVER taken advantage of someone, or joined the army or get a tattoo.

However, since I smoke, and have sex outside of marriage I am doomed to a life of drugs, trailer parks, and being just like my father. So I hate him. I hate him because no matter how hard I try to distance myself from this man who I know nothing about, I can’t. Since I have his name I guess that means I am destined to be him.

I guess that means my free will means jack shit next to the oh so powerful pulling force that is my father. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.