I Hate My Dad
Human Clauses April 20th, 2007I hate my dad so dearly, like one would hate a corrupt dictator of his own land for years of injustice and cruelty. He is a stupid, closed minded and over bearing man and uses the excuse of fatherly love so ridiculously it has created the exact opposite. We have become arch enemies, me being the freedom fighter and him being the evil crowned king of the family.
But enough of the metaphors, this idiot may have loved me once, but you may have noticed I have taken care not to have the words “dad” and “love” in the same sentence. He has literally said I am his slave once, and I partially blame his accursed cultural background (which I will not mention in order to remain anonymous) for this. He insists upon a code of respect similar to that of which kings and queens of royal backgrounds receive, and throws childish tantrums and punishments when his demands are not fulfilled.
Sure this may not be enough, you’re probably thinking, for one to hate his father after “raising me lovingly through my childhood”, but what if the way he carried out this process was responsible for poor self-esteem and depression? His anger and ruthlessness is always so aggressive and full of hate, that the rare occasional gestures of kindness I receive always leave me feeling very awkward. And this has also somehow been twisted and interpreted as more disrespect for him, leaving him more frustrated and leading to one of many vicious circles between us.
Sure there may have been some nice things he has done through my life; the money, shelter, food, clothes, and at one time allowance as well, but it is nothing in comparison to the cruelty and ridiculous orders and lies, and the confusion, stress, guilt, and hopelessness, and despair I have been left to deal with and sort out all by myself.
Dying2Live
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April 22nd, 2007 at 11:37 pm
I can completely feel for you as I watch my husband belittle our two children. He is a big baby who is completely unhappy if everything is not all about him. He once told me when I asked him to help me with our kids and the house (while I felt like I was dying from major female probs which I had to have surgery fro) that my 3 yr old and 5 yr old were to do it. I laughed at him, but, he reminded me that he was serious. he isnsisted that that is why we have kids so they can be our slaves so I reminded the bastard that he was diposable and my kids are not. I believe a good father should ewant thebest for their kids and wife and themselves…but should not refer to his famliy as slaves while he goes out with his buds and fishes and golfs all the time. Nothin in this world will ever change their selfish bastard ways. I have tried being loving, tactful and even tried tricking him into being a better dad. I, forunately, had a loving father who built my self confidence and self esteem from early childhood. My daughter is strong but he even makes her feel little inside sometimes, but, she stands up to him and though it does cause the problems it does…you have to stand up to the self righteous bastards of the workl wh dont even deserve to be dads. My fathers father was abstard and a half but my dad secided to show him by being a hell of a lot better person than his father ever was. I guess what I’m trying to say to you is I just know that your heart bleeds from him, but, try to conquer him by being the person you know younare. You sound like a good person who has the evilside trying to sway to assholeness. Don’t do it!!! Women love sensitive but strong and fair men (assoming your a guy) If u r not, we as women still have to be the same. My son has major trust issues because of his fathers dictatorship that kills him inside . I told my son to simply walk away from him and get me and yes we have chosen sides in our home but my husband now knows he will not win. He will not conquer ..he may try to pretend that he will conquer but he never will. As soon as I can get my kids the hell away from him the better. I am working on that now. Don’t let your dad have any more control. Do the right things and be fair but do not let him have control anymore. Let go of teh anger and move on away from him if you can. But, if you are not old enough to leave yet, start applying for collegs asap and scholarships as far away from him as possible and maybe he will get the message and maybe not.Most likey you are going to ahve to deal mwith his selfish dictating ways forever unless he decides to get help and change. But,from experience, Iknow that my husband would not go to counselng with my son and I have to go it alone on everything that would make “him” look bad. God forbid he do anything to help his kids with their emtions and self esteem. He wouldn’t even let them win a game or two. He got off on winning against little kids. See hes a good example of the hopeless sick bastards of the worls! I wish I could help you, but, the less power you give him the weaker he will become!!!Take care! And i will get mine to a safer, more loving environment soon. God bless u and oh ask God to help even if u think it won’t help it will. Oh, yea, he lies too so much that he wants us to believe we are all nuts and he is perfect LOL
April 22nd, 2007 at 11:40 pm
If you need to chat back I will listen. i am just a concerned mom who sees my kids hearts getting ripped out all the time too. take care :)
April 22nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Oh, one more thing…from this I would say that you are a well educated, inteeligent person who has a big heart and will succeed no matter who your father is. You have control of your future, not him…it belongs to you not him.
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 pm
i feel for you he sounds like my dad just do what i do punch your pillow
May 18th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Dude, all I can say is, I understand. My dad has cheated on my mom for many, many years now. I’ve known about all of his cheating episodes since I was twelve. My mom, being a pastor’s wife, had no friends outside of church, and so she always told me everything. My parents are also from an accursed background and this makes it worse because my dad could just treat us like trash. He was a bad father - he was never around, didn’t want to spend money on us kids so he could spend it on his prostitutes, and he had an explosive temper. Well, I’ll just say this: whenever he stepped in the house, we were all fearful. I recently found out they were ALL prostitutes except for one, so you can understand my current phobia about STD’s. And yes, you heard right. My dad is a minister. People adore him and respect him, and he treats them better than he ever treat us. This has been a huge obstacle for my own faith journey, too. What kind of God would allow such a man to be a successful minister and still live a double life? It all culminated into him beating my mom (I found out this wasn’t the first time) and she had to go to the hospital. He had also pulled a knife on her several times throughout the marriage. My mom never did anything to make him upset, she was always the subservient wife. It pisses me off more because my sister believes my mom MUST have done something to provoke my dad into violence, and both my brother and sister take my dad’s side. What kind of justice is that?? Seriously considering cutting things off with my dad, sister and brother. If my sister and brother are condoning wife beating, I consider them wife beaters, also. To me, innocent bystanders are only innocent if they resist the injustice. If they know about the injustice and stay silent, I consider them a means in which the injustice could be successfully carried out. Currently, my mom has moved out of the house, and issued my dad divorce papers - this was the answer to my prayers!! He is still contacting her and begging her to come back to him. My mom has a soft heart, so who knows? It’s 5a.m. right now, just up worried about how things turn out.
-Liza B.
May 28th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
my father controls every aspect of my and my mother’s lives. he expects us to cook and clean up after him. the man beat me because i did not make him food when he was hungry today. It no longer hurts when he hits me, it’s juyst the pain of knowing that my life must revolve around him and there is no way out of it. my parents are not from this country and when they were growing up they were taught that the man is the ruler of the house and everyone must do everything for him. but they live in America now, my mother knows that this is half slavery but we cannot just leave. he is the one who is going to pay my college fees and in their culture, there is no such thing as divorce. it hurts me to know that after i leave for school she will be stuck in the house with no one but my father. he turns situations around so it seems as if my mother and i are stupid and wrong all the time when it is really him who is wrong. he makes things so he can never be wrong or make a mistake. he slapped me yesterday because i was lookin at him while he yelled at me. he hit me across my face and told me to look down whenever he speaks to me. he thinks that he is doing me a favor by raising me. he tells me it is not his responsiblity to take care of me. as much as i want to scream and swear and prove all of the ridiculous things he says wrong, i cant. if i do, i would surely end up in the hospital. if i stay in my room and away from him, i wont get into too much trouble, but he will find reasons to yell and belittle me even when i stay out of his way. how can i ever trust any man when i have grown up knowing only hatred towards my own father? i have so many emotional issues because of him, but no one around me will understand how i am stuck. everyone just thinks my mother and i can run away. i hate how people will not even try to understand my situation. i have to deal with him for the rest of my life and so does my poor mother. she always sits me down and tells me to make sure i never marry a man like my father. theres no talking to him either. he’s stubborn and believes that his way is the only way and it is the only right way. i hate how he hits me, i’ve never seen him hit my mother but he hits my brother and me; especially for idiotic things like not cleaning up after him. we have to serve him food on a tray and clear it out when he is finished eating! he always pees in the bathtub and doesnt clean it up. he makes a mess out of the house and if i dont clean up his messes he tells me i’m filthy like i was the one who made the mess. i hate how i cannot do anything about this.
June 25th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
hey all, sorry I haven’t replied earlier. It’s a shame you all have these similar problems but it’s also nice to know there are others who share my hate, this confirms that it’s not wrong to hate your dad or even your mom if they deserve it. everyone else that are happy with their parents probably are assuming i’m some rebellious teen and they probably feel sorry for my parents…my father is totally responsible for the most miserable moments of my life…sure my mom has been convincing him to change but i guess its just the way he is. he’s a frequent liar, a deceitful, and manipulative immature asshole. he is the ultimate symbol of hypocrisy. once my brother even found some gay porn on his laptop and guess what?? my mom got yelled at by my dad just for being angry about it! and i was also lectured and insulted even though i had nothing to do with it “disrespecting my father” “the lord and master of my family”. most of all i hate how he can buy me things and force me to forget about all the hurtful things he has done to me…he occasionally will buy me expensive gifts, and like some naive little girl (i am actually a guy) i will be tricked into thinking my dad is a nice guy…i admit i am a fool, i am a naive idiot because i always manage to feel guilty about hating my dad when he buys me things…you know he is incredibly wealthy, yet if you saw our family you would think we were middle class…and he has an obsession with keeping loads of money stashed in the bank and will rarley spend any of it.
he wont even let me choose what i want to study, threatening not to support me at all if i disobey his orders. words cannot express how much i hate him, and how much i hate those who believe parents can have divine royalty just because they decided not to use a condom.
i also have been driven into taking refuge in my room, i stay there every second im not out of the house, and again my dad is angry and wants me around downstairs.
June 27th, 2007 at 12:47 am
i hate how my dad is threatening to take the money i got from work
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:47 am
wow just read ur blog and im glad to know theres someone who understands what it feels like. my dad sounds just like yours, the asshole who thinks he knows everything and tries to dictate my entire life. my dad loves to make me feel low and insecure and i hate how i always give in to it.the only thing he seems to be good for in my life is shelter and monetary support. thanks for posting this, it made me feel much better.
July 9th, 2007 at 3:57 am
im glad other feel the same as me.
My dad is horrible to me. He once told me that doing chores is more important than my school work because if i dont do them he might have to get of his butt and do them himself. He doesnt care that i have been acepted to enter a competition for a scholarship to italy, he doesn care that i got all A’s on my lat report card. All he cares about is that he doesnt have to wash up or make dinner wash the clothes, look after the dogs and the fish, clean the house, my bedroom and my brothers bedrooms and sweep. Do you know what, he still calls me lazy and a stupid idiot because i forget things even though i have to do all that on top of study school karate and cheerleading. i am 16 and my curfew is 5pm! he wont change it! He made me walk 3kms to the mall to buy a lightbulb that he broke and blamed on me. Then i had to walk home again and i when i told him i almost got ran over, he just laughed and said “these things happen”.
Yesterday he told me how stupid i was in the mall because i said girls like to talk. He hit me in the middle of the food court, and then didnt care a bit that everyone could see. He went on with this whole story about how there are all these laws about child abuse and hitting children and how as how as long as i lived in his house those laws did not apply. DO yoou know how much it hurts to be hit so hard ove the head that your ears ring, but you still have to smile and move on.
Why does my dad have to be like this?
October 5th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
My dad has always been an evil, sadistic man. As a child he showed me love and care, but now he is just sick. if i dont act like his slave he goes into tantrums and gives me emotional abuse telling me i’m a failure, and then he starts on my mum stressing her out. this has given me depression, a few personality disorders and low self esteem. he used to hit me, but not until i attacked him back last year did he stop, now hes scared of me, but that doesnt mean hes stopped the emotional abuse to me and my mother. this morning he shouted at me for spending too long in the shower and took it out on my mum. i came down stairs and told him to shut up which i had never done before, i was so ready to fuck him up severely, the abuse has been enough. Then my mum started crying and telling him how he had ruined her life. It all came out, the affairs hes been having over the years, how he used to beat my mum up (he kicked her in the stomach while she was pregnant with me), he stopped her from seeing her family. What would you do to the man who single handedly ruined your mothers life. i have to admit feelings of murderous rage began to enter me. not only has he ruined my life but also my mothers.my younger brother now has irritable bowel syndrome for life due to his abuse. my only thought preventing me from doing anyhtong illegal is that once i’m working we can leave him and he’ll have nobody. his whole family hates him, we’ll just take half his money and run. after my mum came out with everything i told him he was sick, he left the house and has been out for about five hours. i hope he never comes back. I want them to divorce which my mother is happy with, we can survive without him.
October 9th, 2007 at 12:39 am
My dad is a freaking loser. I hate him to death, that arrogant and rude son of a bitch. When I was a baby he never even touched me. He is disgustingly impatient and my mom told me he would yell and swear at her every time I cried. OF COURSE I WOULD CRY I WAS AN INFANT! Never changed my diaper, never took care of me, just forced my mom to do it all plus cook dinner, clean, do laundry. If he was dissatisfied he would swear nonstop and threaten her. My mom is a working woman at IBM, she’s gotten incredible recognition for her work, over 24 patents but the thing is, she had to juggle work alongside everything else. She was depressed for years by my dad’s constant abuse. As if things couldn’t get worse…
my fucking ass of a dad hates dogs. When I was little, our next door neighbor was really close to our family but we haven’t talked in over a decade. Why? Well they raised an adorable little puppy but my dad could not stand that fact that the dog has an ability to bark. He bought a slingshot and would forcefully throw rocks at the dog. Sounds funny right? Its not, my dad had murder in his eyes. His first blunder was when he broke the neighbor’s glass door with his rock throwing. They were incredibly angry and threatened to sue my dad. Did my dad apologize? NO. Did he blame my mom and claim he was not at fault? YES. He gave my mom hell, threatening and verbally abusing her for weeks afterwards. My mom was the one who was constantly telling him to stop throwing rocks and leave the dog alone. Then he gets himself into a huge mess and all of a sudden its my mom’s fault. Anyways, my mom’s side of the family settled the conflict and my mom paid the neighbors money for repair.
Don’t think thats bad? Then one night my dad actually killed the dog. Slingshot to the head. The idiot. Just because the dog barked at him. Did he admit he was at fault? Did he APOLOGIZE? NO! Once again he blamed it all on my mom and gave her hell. I was around 7 back then and he manipulated me into thinking it is ok to call my mom fat and idiotic, which I regret still today. Thing is, my mom thought I was too young to understand so I never knew about the dog’s death until now. The neighbors renounced us and I do not blame them…my dad never went over and apologized or anything, he thinks killing the dog isn’t wrong since he thinks so highly of himself. fucker.
I am now 16, and close to leaving for college. Since the dog incident my dad has done more stupid things like breaking the neighbor’s car with his rock throwing addiction and using his slingshot at the crows and birds around our house. I can’t stop him and it kills me inside because he gets violent with me. He smashes cups and dishes, and swears at me nonstop about how I am disrespecting him for NOTHING! I find fault in his character and whenever I timidly approach him about it, I get a beating. He’s also gone psycho for the last 6 years. Six years ago he found the flea market and he’s been going there once or twice a week EVERY WEEK. He buys a ton of junk, I swear, we have like 300 old painting about now. And they are all worthless and ugly. Yet the funny thing is, since he thinks he is all that and great and awesome and never wrong, he doesn’t think he is wasting money. He thinks my mom wastes money and got in a huge argument with her about wasting his money BECAUSE SHE USED PAPER PLATES ONE EVENING. and funny thing is, he went broke in his bank account last year because he began spending all his money on this 80 year old woman who shares his classical music passion. My mom refused to give him money and he fuking verbally abused her again, calling her stupid, fat, a fuck and whatever. He wasted all his money and lost it all and its my mom’s fault?
There is a ton more stuff my dad has done that has pissed the hell out of me, but I guess these are just some main ones. Wow this is quite a rant…I just have so much anger boiled up in side me. Just last week, my family went on another one of our feuds, my dad versus my mom and me. Its a long story but bottom line is, he fucking thinks he is right all the time and got mad at my mom for his own mistakes. He has never once in his life apologized and he once even tried to make me take the blame for his legal problem. I was like 7 back then! Fucking asshole. Good thing is, he isn’t physically violent, but his verbal abuse has gone on for my whole life as well as his addiction to smashing glass dishes and such. Living with him makes me sick.
So yea, I can sorta relate. I can’t imagine getting hurt physically though, thats gotta bite. :(
February 27th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
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