I’ve just found out my mother had to sleep with one fat bastard so that I could go study in the college. I’m not a good student… I’m sitting at home, watching the stupid TV, reading esoteric books, trying to blame the world around for all problems that I have. I should probably leave the college, but what should I do then?.. I hate myself now, as my mother had to have sex with some disgusting man to give me an opportunity to study, and what’s now?

I can’t live in peace with my mother. There’s no love in our relations, we are totally different. I’ve had much evil from my mother, and I don’t think she ever understood me and what I want. I can’t say I hate my mother… I simply don’t love her and I doubt she loves me. I want to run away, but I don’t have any place to go…

I don’t have friends. I am the person to blame for that. I can’t be open hearted, I can’t express my emotions. I’m always strict and even rude. Thanks, Mom.

I’m 19 now and I’m still virgin. I had a beloved guy but we broke. Because he couldn’t stand me being rude and stiff to him all the time. Hell, problems are everywhere. In any corner I look into there is a problem And I hate it! I hate who I am, I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t want to commit a suicide, I just want to be strong, I want to survive and make other people with it. I want to help people. But how can I if I hate this stupid world?!

I hate my weakness. I hate who I am. I hate everything around me. This is horrible.