Ladies and Gentleman, you seem like nice people. As you are on this website I know that you too have a healthy amount of hate pumping through your veins. This is a good thing, trust this feeling. Nonetheless, I’m afraid I cannot bring myself to describe the complete and utter revulsion I have for ironing. Words are really not enough. Picture the most offensive piece of graffiti you have ever looked at, or the most upsetting film scene you have ever watched. This is how I feel about ironing; it is not natural and should have no part in our daily lives. Really, I mean it. Enough said.

With the ironing ‘done’ I have now completed stage 3. After wrestling with drawers and hangers the clothes are then put away and, it has to be noted, they do look disturbingly similar to their original appearance of a week ago. But no, there is a major difference. I know they have Been Washed. The Laundry has Been Done and these are Clean Clothes. It is a hateful, repulsive process and if I had my way it would be made illegal and all clothes would be free. They would also be dispensed from a vending machine as I hate shopping for clothes but this, I fear, is another story…